The Night St. Nick Didn’t Show Up

Posted by
December 24, 2014

cookies_santaBy LINDA and BILL BONVIE

‘twas the night before Christmas
and all through the land
folks were eating food
that should have been banned.

The stockings were filled
with fake flavors and dyes
while deadly trans fats lurked
in the crusts of the pies.

And visions of sugarplums
were turned really gross
by high fructose corn syrup
in place of sucrose.

And MSG provided
a flavor enhancer
with all kinds of ‘side effects’
(perhaps even cancer).

When the jolly old elf
That all awaited
instead left a message
none had anticipated.

And it said, “If you all insist
on making yourselves sick,
you can do it without me,
Sincerely, old St. Nick.”

When they got over their shock
they all suddenly understood
that the guy in the red suit
was looking out for their good

And those yucky ingredients
really needed to go
if they again wanted to hear
his hearty “ho,ho, ho!”

So into the garbage
those toxic foods flew
with New Year’s resolutions
to not buy them anew.

And before very long
the message got across
to the makers of the products
that were now being tossed

And who responded by scrapping
all additives unfit
For human consumption,
Lickety-split

And as a result
of being put ‘on their mettle’
everyone in the land
was in much better fettle

When St. Nick returned
the following year
to once again spread
some holiday cheer

And they heard him exclaim
As he drove out of sight
“Healthy Christmas to all
And to all a good night!”